I was told by a beloved and beautiful woman that I need a vacation, and the thought filled me with a light sense of cosmic horror and existential dread.

On looking into this, I came to the realization that I have never had a relaxing vacation in my life. I have had numerous vacations, including ones to Canada, Italy, and even the far flung world of Disney in Florida, which is mathematically provable as the worst state in the history of mankind.

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