A HUGE problem about my magical experiences is I am afraid of sounding like a nut job. Or of disappearing up my own asshole. Too many magicians are solipsistic, taking EVERY experience or thought they have as a grand mystical experience that MEANS THINGS!

I have sought to avoid that. Long ago I read an Irish saying. I might be remembering it wrong, but it goes like this:

“If you see a Leprechaun walking down the road, tell no one!”

My point is that I like to remain as grounded in “the real” as much as possible. Truth is my goal, not some inward-facing cloud-cuckoo-land fantasy. To me magic isn’t magic until it works in our common, shared reality. Otherwise, it has the danger of being an ego trip.

Okay, kids, story time!

I have a dear one to me named Ash. She is like a little sister to me… someone I adore with whom I have a lot in common. In particular, Autism and Magic.

Ash has a connection to magic from the hills of South Carolina. I would call it “Appalachian Adjacent.” We were lovers at one point. Our relationship evolved into something I love and cherish on a chaste level.

Ash is the kind of woman who really wants and needs to be loved. And like most Autistic people, she has a problem with being a “chosen one.” That is, someone who dates others because those others “chose” them. Regardless of how poisonous that person is. I used to do exactly the same thing. Someone would “choose” me and I would feel obliged to mirror their feelings. I became an expert at loving VERY difficult people.

Anyway, Ash met this man named “Az” (not the full name) at a club and they hit it off. He chose her, but he was attractive enough and charming. They hooked up.

He was also a psychic vampire. After one instance of sex, Ash started feeling more tired and drained, both emotionally and physically. This continued for weeks, sometimes leaving her bedridden. In the meantime, Az started treating her with more and more disdain. As she sank further, he became more insulting. It was an obvious narcissistic gesture to create power over her.

I talked to Ash about various cleansing rituals. Largely, stuff within her wheelhouse. She is more of a nature-based witch than I am, so her strength is of the earth, hills, and mountains. Mine is more fire, water, and air. But I know enough about Earthen magic to help out. It also helps that I am a Level III Reiki Master.

Some of the stuff we did helped, but didn’t end the situation. She’d feel fine for a day or two and then start slipping back. Az started to take deeper root in her mind.

So one evening she came over to stay the night so we could work this out. We meditated a little, talked a lot more, and she described what this Az was like. She even had a picture to show me and… it’s not like he was obviously a psychic vampire. Like he wasn’t cos-playing or anything. He was attractive, and I saw the magnetism in his eyes. But my skin didn’t immediately crawl or anything. I saw power, but he was closed like a fist and I had no desire to dig in.

I mean that’s how it is, right? Successful monsters don’t look like monsters. They look attractive, they are compelling, they draw people in… and it is all surface level. Scratch the paint and you see the rot inside. Luckily, most of these types of people are arrogant and cannot keep the mask of sanity up for long.

I did a scan over her, closing my eyes, feeling the blue and white light pouring from my fingers. I felt Az ALL OVER Ash’s abdomen and privates. It was a cold black smoke that roiled inside her, with a faint gray trail leading out of her vagina. I was not interested in tracing that trail. I merely wanted to sever it and be done. I mean, the less I touch that energy, the better!

The working was at first exploratory. I mean, I am not a person who IMMEDIATELY leaps to “a vampire done it” conclusion. There may be other reasons. But I also believed in Ash’s experience the way she laid it out. Like the Russians say, “Trust, but verify.”

So when I felt that… presence… in her, my exploration ended. In times of healing like this, it’s best to not use your own energy. You don’t want to connect to that kind of energy. It’s… sticky. You don’t want to stay in that energy. It can be communicable.

But Reiki? Reiki is a pure, clean source that has nothing to do with me. Reiki is not a river of power flowing through me and cleansing with motion and light. Instead, it is like the sun. All I am is a magnifying glass. I can focus it, but it is tireless for me.

I have never felt tired after a Reiki healing, because it is not at about me. The trick is preventing yourself from interfering, which is very tempting. It’s the ego… “how can I make this at least a little bit about me?” Sometimes it’s hard to stand out of the way and trust something outside of you.

It worked though! I didn’t even bother to close my eyes and see if I could feel the smoke dissipate. I swallowed my curiosity as well. During a Reiki healing, it is time to completely divorce myself from the process. If I get in the way, I am ruining the experience. It’s a matter of choosing to stop being a “master” and instead becoming a mere tool.

I took this chance to distract what I call my “forward mind.” It is the seat of consciousness and such. Just get me out of the way so it can work.

After about a half hour I just had a feeling that it was time to come back. It was like a small tap on my shoulder. When I did, I saw that Ash was resting much easier. Her eyes were much brighter that they were when I picked her up. The evening was a lot easier. She was relaxing, laughing, and we just delighted in each other’s company. The shadow lifted.

ABOUT THREE DAYS LATER

Sorry, I can’t get more specific with the exact time. This happened in the early Fall of 2024 and I was terrible about my journaling. I like specificity, but time is such an odd concept to me sometimes.

It was evening around 9:30 PM and I was alone with my black and white cat Flurry. Flurry is a wonderful animal but is also a quintessential cat. For instance, if I am walking towards the kitchen, she will dart from wherever she is. She gets in front of me and walks very slowly while looking up at me. Just VERY much a cat.

She is also sensitive. She occasionally sits and stares intently at a spot in the air. Her head slightly moves as if she is tracking something I can’t see. I partially chalk that up to her seeing something that my human eyes can’t. It could be a dust mote, or it could be a spirit. or whatever. “What” doesn’t matter much to me. I mean, this is what cats do. But sometimes, I see her as an early warning system. If she is staring at something AND her tail poofs out, then I suspect there is something else going on.

Usually in these instances, it’s short lived. Her tail poofs out, she stares intently, and after a few seconds she is fine. She just stands up and walks away like nothing happened. I take that as something that’s passing through that somehow got past my wards and protections. I pay attention, sometimes call out “Hello?”, or if Flurry is staring long enough, I will declare intent:

“Whatever you may be, you can pass out of this place in peace. If you entered with hostility, you will find yourself met with the same. Go in peace.” I just see this as either whistling in the dark or declaring to whatever may be out there that I am not in the mood for visitors and I am not above a fight. I like my privacy.

This night, Flurry acted in a way I had never seen her act before. I was in the kitchen and Flurry grew bored of trying to trip me so she was wandering away. Suddenly, she stopped and not only her tail poofed out, but the hairs on her back stood up. I like to talk to my cat, so I asked “FlurFlur, are you okay?”

She didn’t acknowledge that I had said anything all. She just started backing away from the door.

Again, my mind doesn’t automatically leap to mystical solutions. I listened intently to detect any footsteps. I also tried to hear if someone was knocking on a neighbor’s door. In this case, there were no sounds. No wind, either. No scrape of trees against each other or against the siding or windows. No cars or any other vehicle. No low voices in the distance.

Then I felt it. This coldness. I caught up with Flurry’s mood. She backed away from the door. She wouldn’t take her eyes off whatever was there.

I felt like, “if it’s going to be like THIS, let’s play along.” I hurriedly lit some candles on my altar and set up my incense burner with a charcoal circle. I placed Sage (protection), Dragon’s Blood (power), and Benzoin (just had a feeling). Later, I discovered that Benzoin was used by Shamans in Java to drive away evil spirits. It also helped them enter the Astral world. So, go intuition! Then I lit the charcoal and rang the bell on my altar.

Once the brazier was burning, I rushed into my bedroom, which is where I do most of my meditating. It is my “Holy of Holies” in a way. The wards are particularly strong here. I lit sticks of incense in my bedroom. Flurry rushed in with me, then turned around facing the door, the hairs on her back still sticking up.

I was confused. I felt pretty confident in the various wards and shields I set up about the place when I first moved here. I erred on the side of caution, making my home difficult for ANY spirit to enter. I am changing that soon.

Whatever this was, it came straight in without invitation. It didn’t feel like a “godform” or anything. There was no shimmering power or long shadow cast in the area. But it was exactly the same color smoke as the infection in Ash.

So how in the hell did this thing get in?

This thing was powerful, but not vastly so. I’ve been around those types of powers before and this didn’t have the “reality warping” feel that those beings have. But as my third eye opened, I could see it slowly moving into the doorway of my room. It was vaguely human shaped and it’s height varied, sometimes shrinking, sometimes stretched. I could see whatever its head was looking around. Sometimes to the side, sometimes up and down. Like it was casing the place.

I got pissed.

I mean, I try to do as little harm as possible in life. I have only had a few intrusions like this. Each time, it wasn’t as dark. I also knew WHY it happened. But in this case, it felt like an invasion of my home. I will not accept that from anything.

I sat in my pose and found it easier than normal to get into the Astral plain. I wondered later about this… How did I slip into the Astral so quickly? It usually takes 5 – 10 minutes of struggling to quiet my mind for five seconds. I guess it was because I never needed to slip in so quickly on account of a disturbance.

I connected to the Astral and was suddenly somewhere else. Purple and black skies, swirling clouds, and a very strange drone all around me. Stars above me. I stood in a dark, grass-covered courtyard. Black, windowless buildings surrounded me. They resembled a cluster of monoliths but were the size of tall houses. The grass was green and cool on my bare feet. Lights on the ground resembled small pillars with slits of light, similar to those seen around modern building campuses.

I saw him clearly: Az. Or rather I saw a form of smoke and tar, black/brown tendrils roiling off of him. I saw the Astral cord trailing behind him. He stood across the courtyard. He stared at the area I was standing in with pale glowing blue eyes. His face showed a surprised look that turned into a hungry glee. He couldn’t see me directly yet, but he felt me.

Then I saw how he got in.

When I brought Ash into my home, I skipped a few steps. I opened the door for her, but didn’t slam the door shut. I was in such a hurry to help her. I didn’t think about how this connection between Ash and Az meant that I invited Az in as well.

In other words, I didn’t banish right.

So Az was coming over to see who was interrupting his meal. He walked cautiously, looking around, searching. I think my wards were interfering with his vision.

I smiled in delight though. Typical narcissistic vampire, thinking he was far more powerful and scary than he actually was. He came into MY home to challenge me. Some part of me was overjoyed. Perhaps it was my Grandmother spirit. She advises me on magic rituals and spells. She has an “old world” Italian sensibility when it comes to vengeance.

Now I no longer wanted to banish him. I wanted to hurt him in ways he would never forget.

So I showed myself to him by willing it. His eyes were the easiest thing to see now. They were pale blue and shimmering. I felt a hungry smile grow on his face as he focused on me. I played weak, looking scared and panicked like a rabbit seeing a hawk swoop on them. I started backing up and he ran towards me. I yelled and cowered down, when a servitor I had created much earlier jumped in. It looked the same as years ago when I created it. It was a glowing red-hot shape resembling the humanoid form of the AOL messenger symbol.

I had completely forgotten creating it, but as it appeared I remembered in detail when and why I created it.

Side note, but I am sure you are used to these by now. When creating a servitor, it’s best not to give them facial features or much in the way of details. You shape them for the purpose you create them for. For instance, if you want a servitor to go get money for you, give them extra arms. Make a speedy servitor with extra legs.

I made a protector servitor. It glowed intensely, resembling red hot metal. It had two thick arms. It had two thick legs. A floating sphere served as its head. It didn’t need to see. It just needed to stop what I wanted it to stop.

I was cowering on the ground. My servitor wrestled with this apparition. I acted like it took ALL my power to keep this servitor going. The apparition was staring at me and laughing, certain that I was weak and easily defeated.

You may ask why I only made one servitor. I mean, usually when I create, I create well.

I slowly stood up, laughing, and showed him what real magic is. My servitor multiplied, each one a perfect copy of the original. Dozens of my servitors grabbed him and held him down. They burned him and pummeled his astral body with almost melting iron fists and kicks.

Again, when I create, I create well.

I laughed and laughed and laughed as he screamed. Then I yelled to my protectors, “bring me his spine!”

My original servitor did just that as the apparition screamed in pain and rage. My servitor walked to me bearing a black bone snake shimmering in tar and smoke. I started eating it, savoring his pain and fear. If he wanted a connection, I was going to show him how to really do it.

My Grandmother has taught me well.

I willed my servitors to cease their beating and pin him on the ground. I was still snacking on his spine like a side of ribs. I didn’t want to kill him, but I wanted to make this a very memorable moment. I wanted him to fear me far more than he had ever feared anyone else.

I told him, “If you ever come back here, I will have your heart, your stomach, and your cord. But, I will keep you alive so you’ll feel exactly what I have taken from you. I know your taste now and I am hungry! I have a power over you that you will never break. Now, flee! Flee!”

I kept yelling “FLEE!” as loudly as I could. I kept eating his spine and cackling until I could no longer feel a single trace of his presence. As I sensed his presence depart, I felt like I was slammed back into my body. It was a shock coming back. And as I came back, I came back cackling.

I just could not stop laughing over this, even after I became aware again of my room and my cat. I was cackling like a witch, and for so many reasons!

First of all, the whole thing felt so absurd on one level. It was extremely visceral and felt very real. I had this sour and smoky taste in my mouth for days. I couldn’t get rid of it. I didn’t WANT to get rid of it! I tasted his terror, his pain, and I loved it!

But at the same time, there was another part of me questioning “did that REALLY happen?” I mean, I am not one for visual hallucinations. I hadn’t taken any drugs at all, save caffeine. I don’t really partake in alcohol or other drugs save for cannabis, and even that lightly.

And there was another part of me that was disturbed by the cruelty. Regardless of whether or not he deserved it (not for me to judge), I did not hurt him. I crippled him. I took his power from him in an overwhelming assault that was beyond overkill. There was no measure to the violence. It was not at all justice. It was punishment.

And I loved it.

I think this disturbed me the most.

I don’t easily slip into an altered state. I questioned my grasp of reality afterwards. I was terrified to tell anyone else about this experience. This included those closest to me.

I kept a close watch on myself since. Did I go mad? Did I slip into fantasy? Did I fall asleep quickly and dream? Then did I wake up minutes later without being aware that I was asleep at all? Did this really happen?

I had never had an experience THIS visual and real. Am I suddenly prone to these illusions? Was I bored, or tired? I have scraped over this experience, but I cannot find any delusion in it, other than its sheer improbability.

I did notice that after this, Flurry was just fine. She acted as if nothing ever happened.

I believe that EVERYTHING is true in some sense, false in some sense, and meaningful in some sense. I believe that about my experience with this intruder.

In some sense, I had this liminal experience that I will never be able to adequately explain or thoroughly express. And in another sense, I know it sounds utterly mad and delusional. I experienced it on every level of my being. The experience changed my environment in testable and visual ways. It changed ME.

I have been afraid of this experience ever since. I have only shared bits of this with the people I am closest to. But never the full tale.

My cat has never acted that way since. Every so often, she will do that poof tail. She stares off into the distance. She watches as something wanders through and away. But she is a cat, and cats do that.

This was my Leprechaun walking down the road.