Tag: Silly

DON’T DO “ANCESTOR WORK” (If You’re White)

On By John d'AndrioleIn Humor, Writing

Over and over again in witchcraft circles, it’s heavily encouraged to do “Ancestor Work.” This is working with your ancestors – people in your genetic line – to gain wisdom and insight.

The problem is I am White (barely). By this, I mean my mom’s side of the family are the WASPIEST of WASPs and my father’s side of the family was fresh off the boat from Campania at the turn of the 20th Century: a time when Italians were not considered people, much less White people.

Continue reading “DON’T DO “ANCESTOR WORK” (If You’re White)” →

ASSASSIN PROBLEMS – From The World of John Wick

On By John d'AndrioleIn Sketches, TV Shows

This dialogue is taken from secret recordings made at THE CONTINENTAL HOTEL as per High Table policy.

CONNOR: I want… no… I NEED Hanuman dead! NOW! Get me…. Hmmmm… get me… THE TWINS!

CERBERUS: The… TWINS, sir?

CONNOR: Yes, Cerebus… the TWINS!

CERBERUS: Are you certain of this, sir?

CONNOR: Are you questioning me on this, Cerebus? I know, the TWINS can be a little messy and freaky, but I want to send out a message to everyone not to FUCK with CONNOR O’CONNOR!

CERBERUS: Well… yes sir… I mean I understand the need to send out a message, but…

CONNOR: Out with it, Cerebus! What is the problem?

CERBERUS: It’s “Cerberus”, sir…

CONNOR: What?

CERBERUS: Never mind, sir…. I do beg your pardon. But there is something that has been on my mind.

CONNOR: What’s the issue. Cerebus?

Continue reading “ASSASSIN PROBLEMS – From The World of John Wick” →

MY THEATRE REVIEWS!

On By John d'AndrioleIn Humor, Writing

What many do not realize about me (myself included) is that I am a tremendous fan of live theatre! So much so that I will intentionally misspell the word in order to gain Pretention Fun Bucks™.

There is nothing like live performance in its purest form: YouTube prank videos performed by attention-starved sociopaths. Second to that is live theatre. And sure, one could spend hundreds, or even tens, of dollars on tickets to watch a play performed by seasoned professionals. As if THAT is live theatre! A purist like me needs a more visceral, raw, and real theatre experience…

The kind you can EXCLUSIVELY find in Elementary School drama productions.

Continue reading “MY THEATRE REVIEWS!” →

WHEN TO INTRODUCE YOUR SEX DUNGEON

On By John d'AndrioleIn Humor, Your Instruction Manual2 Comments

Literally no one has ever asked me when one should introduce their secret Sex Dungeon to the potential boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/nosy parrot.

This is a mistake.

Continue reading “WHEN TO INTRODUCE YOUR SEX DUNGEON” →

NON-MONOGAMY AND YOU… OR US… OR WHATEVER

On By John d'AndrioleIn Etc., Humor, Your Instruction Manual

Human sexuality and attachment: it has been going on for well over sixty years and it’s about time someone put a stop to it. It used to be that you would find one random person, pretend it was fate that brought you together, and spend the following decades learning how to see your spouse as the one thing preventing you from being happy.

Ah, the good old days!

Continue reading “NON-MONOGAMY AND YOU… OR US… OR WHATEVER” →